Sunday, April 27, 2008

Rant: Frosted Mini Wheats

I love Mini Wheats. Or rather, Mini-SPOONERS. Mini Spooners are the Malt-O-Meal companies version of Kellog's Mini-Wheats. I normally buy the Mini-Spooners, but the other day I grabbed a box of Mini-Wheats. Here is my analysis:
Point 1:
Mini-spooners come in a resealable bag. No box.
Mini-Wheats come in a box, then with inner packaging in plastic.
After wanting to tear my eyes out trying to open the damn inner plastic on the Mini-wheats, which results in a large tear and Mini-Wheats flying across the kitchen with me grunting bench press type efforts, I swore off all Kellog's cereal. Besides REALLY pissing me off, I realized what a waste it is for Kellog to do the redundant packaging.
Point 2:
Mini-spooners actually taste a little better, IMHO.
So, I believe you can do the environment, your wallet and taste buds a little better by buying Malt-0-Meal cereals in resealable bags if you are going to buy cereal. Who needs Lucky Charms when you have MARSHMALLOW MATEYS?
I was actually mad enough the other day, and apparently had too much time on my hands, so I wrote Kellog's an email. I should have saved it, it was pretty funny, with tact. I haven't heard back a response. I have never contacted a company before, so I will be interested to see if they write back, or if a Kellog's sniper shows up in my lawn. I know a fellow from Kingsley, Kevin Sheibley, contacted Life Savers to discuss his idea of mass production of Life Savers flavored body spray. He did get a response, though it was something to the effect of, "Uh, We have a marketing department already."
I received the following response from Kellog this am:
to me
show details
9:31 pm (6 hours ago)

Dr. Brownell,
Thank you for contacting us to let us know you would prefer that a different material be used to package Kellogg's® Mini-Wheats® Maple & Brown Sugar cereal.We base our choices for both inner and outer packaging materials on our need to deliver fresh product to stores in the best possible condition. We look at our packaging to control the absorption of moisture, control breakage and prevent any other type of damage that might occur during the shipping and handling of our foods.
Kellogg Company cares very much about maintaining the good reputation we have with our consumers and we do not want to have our name and products associated with any negative meanings. Kellogg Company is committed to minimizing the environmental impact of our business while also being socially and economically responsible. We conduct our business in a manner that is sensitive to the environment and demonstrates good stewardship of the world’s natural resources.
We are sorry to hear that you did not enjoy this product. Our research indicates that many consumers approve of its aroma, taste, texture and appearance. Although you do not share this opinion, we appreciate your letting us know that Kellogg's® Mini-Wheats® Maple & Brown Sugar cereal did not measure up to your expectations.We appreciate the time you took to share your views.
Your comments will be shared with the appropriate departments to help us continue to achieve our goal of providing you with great-tasting and high quality products.
Sincerely,Pablo A. Martinez Consumer Affairs Department4PAM/cl013358570A
Kellogg North AmericaPO Box CAMB
Battle Creek, MI 49016-1986


Married to a Proverbs 31 Woman said...

Love the idea of a Kellogg Sniper, but I would watch out for the Keebler Elves. They were orginally brought to the Kellogg family when the Kelloggs were in need of some "heavy handed" help. Word on the street is that they "Knee-capped" Toni the Tiger, when he tried to leave for Pillsbury.

They'll take you down with their Dipping-Delights-throwing-stars-of death, and probe all your orifices with their Vienna Fingers.
Finally, they get you to talk with their yummy-chocolaty-water-type boarding treatments.
Death by the center filling.

Tim said...

I hate u

Cullen said...

I can just imagine the eye-rolling that went on when they received your, "Oh check this guy out...a doctor that can't open a cereal box liner. Remind me to not get hurt in Sioux City." Then they probably just paged through the stack of "Dear Consumer" letters. "Dislikes flavor, likes packaging? Nope...uh, dislikes flavor, causes diarrhea? Wait a miunute, here it is...Can't open package and slightly prefers Malt-O-Meal flavor. Send it off."

Chad said...

Well, at least they responded graciously. I would've loved to see a response like:

"Dear Dr. Brownell, Kellogg's invented the Mini-Wheats over 50 years ago...however, we can't help it if you like cheap-ass cereals with silly names like 'Spooners' or 'Tootie Fruities'. I'm sure you even think blue kangaroos make excellent mascots. Keep washing down your Little Debbie Honey-Buns with a 3-liter Hee-Haw, you low-class bum."