Friday, September 29, 2006

Steve Alford Game Used Golf Tee! (maybe)

Steve Alford's Golf Tee! (Could Be!) Dream IT. Be IT. This could be yours! Still fully functional, and the grass lodged in the tee from the possible powerful swing of Steve Alford remains untouched.

This Iowa Basketball labeled golf tee was found by myself on the tee off of the 9th hole at Brown Deer Golf Course. Less than a mile from the home of Steve Alford, who is known to golf there, who elses could it be?

I can make no actual guarantee that Steve Alford used this tee, but on the off chance he did, wouldn't you want it too? I had it inspected by my Beagle, (see photo), who mysteriously immediately offered the tee a contract extension and a raise even though the tee has not made me any money or met any of my expectations yet. Coincidence? I think not. More proof that this tee likely launched a golf ball once held by Steve Alford.

I will include the mint condition Nike Golf Ball free! (Not possibly game used by Steve Alford.) You could use this golf ball to hit off of the same tee Steve Alford might have hit off of. Just think of that! This is Steve Alford we're talking of here. Steve Alford has counted to infinity, twice! Steve Alford always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego. Steve Alford has 12 moons, one of which is Earth. And you could own his (maybe) golf tee. Get it NOW!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Cullen Bright Facts...

Who really is more tough? Rick Watters or Cullen Bright? You compare the facts and decide.

If you spell Cullen Bright in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Rick Watters originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Watters replied, "That's no glitch."

Cullen Bright does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

When Rick Watters plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. Rick also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Cullen Bright puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then Cullen kills people.

Rick Watters does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


The BIG gameday. Iowa versus ISU. All week long the Iowa players had to look at posters in each of their lockers, above the urinals and in the weight room of a billboard on I-380 that ISU put up declaring "It's a Cyclone State".

It was a really great college football game, and even more so, because Iowa won. Paul was a little disheartened afterwards, which is self-explanatory in where he tries to lobotomize himself with his finger.

And, you can see Todd Nickell, the perennial Cycloner in a nice Hawkeye shirt next to the explorer. Is Todd turning?... The fans rushed the field at the end, some people were doing snow angels, and the entire stadium was chanting together, "Hawkeye State!, Hawkeye State!"

We finished the night off around the fire...

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Chad got Descent!

Got a new gaming store, reminiscing about COBF, and Chad got Descent. I've got gaming in some sort or another on my mind. Hence the red dragon drawing. Anyone care to guess how old he would be? I have to work way too much to start off this month, but you can bet we'll be at Critical Hit Games later in September with MTG and Descent. And lots of junk food. We'll let you know when...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Death by Glabrezu

On this Sunday morning before church, I reminisce about a giant of very short stature. One for whom this blog is named after. After not heeding a warning light going off in the back of his head while running through an anteroom full of short, whitish blobby mini-devils he proceeds forward into a great room, lit by four magical fires. He soon realizes his trouble.

So, what's a halfling to do? First drink your potion of spider climbing and your potion of giant stregth. Take Katrina's Greatsword that is normally too wieldy for a halfling not potioned up, climb the wall and jump off in last hurrah. A halfling's battle cry is not something you think of, but this day it would have put Bruenor Battlehammer's call in its place. With greatsword held in both hands pointing straight down between his short legs, he used all his wieght and enhanced strength to drive it down from the mighty jump from the ceiling. The Glabrezu never knew so much pain. A halfling? It almost drove the Glabrezu to know no more. Instead, he reached up and grabbed the fly sized creature from his back and crushed the halfling would be hero between its claws. Like Tristan, it was a good death.